Matthew Brosche, Columnist • firstname.lastname@example.org
“Action!” Fredrick cried while taking his mark on the rooftop set.
“We meet at last general,” Fredrick screamed the words almost robotically.
“For the last time Jerry,” replied the actor, who was wearing a faded green uniform from a thrift store along with a large fake mustache.
The actor and Fredrick charged towards each other and began their fake fight. The phony general threw his punches so they would stop inches before actually hitting his target. Fredrick, having no stage fight training, hit the ac- tor with real punches repeatedly.
“He’s actually hitting me!” The actor shouted to the crew in desperation.
“Sorry, sorry Toby,” Fredrick said. “When you came at me my reflexes just kicked in. I am a black belt after all.”
“Can you at least try to pull your punches?” Toby asked doubled over in pain.
“I make no promises. Now come on, time is money, let’s just start from when the ghost shows up.”
Toby reluctantly retook his place as the crew began setting up the ghost effect, which was just a prop ghost they had bought from a party store attached to a stick. Fredrick would assure everyone that the ghost, along with anything else that looked underwhelming on set, would be fixed “in post.”
Toby and Fredrick their fake fight again, with Fred- rick actually hitting Toby every other punch. The effects crew pushed the ghost into the frame when they saw their cue and proceeded to shake the stick violently to simulate movement. Everyone on set knew this looked ridiculous; still, no one said anything.
“Your fighting has awakened the spirit of Patanmore.” The spiky-haired actor from off-camera said in his best ghost voice while trying to roll his eyes discreetly as possible.
It wouldn’t be until after that day of shooting that the crew would realize that the camera was pointed at a downward angle so that the heads of everyone in the scene were cut out of frame. The angle of the camera was due to Sam, who was attempting to hold the camera in one hand while trying to film himself for his YouTube channel with the other.
Everyone was devastated upon seeing the footage because that meant they would have to reshoot the awful scene. Fredrick attempted to see the bright side of things saying that the camera angle was avant-garde and gave the movie a more artistic feel. Despite Fredrick’s positive reaction towards the unintentionally artistic camera angle, Sam was still fried and replaced with some guy Fredrick met in a dinner taking a picture of his lunch.